THE DOUCHEBAG AWARDS: LLOYD BLANKFEIN
“We need to lower people’s expectations.”
The quote you’ve just read is from Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO
of Goldman Sachs. And it’s in relation to the national debt and what we need to
do to reduce it. His proposition and the quote that you’ve just read earned him
this week’s “Excellence in Douchebaggery” award. His proposition was to get rid
of entitlements and his reasoning was that we have to teach people that they
don’t deserve any help from Uncle Sam.
What an ironic statement indeed to come from the lips of a
$10B welfare baby. Lloyd Blankfein is the biggest hypocrite in the world,
clearly, but he’s taken that title to a new low by blaming Social Security and
other entitlements as the reason for the debt. It’s not mortgage securitization
ponzi schemes or huge gambles on multiple lines of credit going bad. It’s those
pesky senior citizens who think they’re owed things like RETIREMENT just because
we said we’d give it to them. And so he points his pointy finger at the
retired, the reflection of his index shining bright in his absurdly bald head,
and said:
“Social Security isn’t going to be there for a thirty year
retirement after a twenty five year career.”
This sentiment oddly resembles the sentiments of another prominent
politician who just barely lost the
election by a slim margin of over one hundred electorate votes (please note
sarcasm.) His name, which rhymes with “twit,” was infamously quoted on hidden
camera saying that forty-seven percent of Americans don’t take responsibilityfor their own lives. It’s how these big Wall Street superstars think. They say
things like this to other wealthy people, and then wonder why the rest of the
world hates their guts with a passion. They’re so confused by our reactions because
they really do believe that this preposterous bullshit is all true. It’s not
their faults, it’s ours.
What Lloyd Blankfein and other big shot bankers conveniently
forget to mention is that they were the recipients of the largest hand-me-out
in welfare history. They dress it up and call it a “bailout,” but it’s really
just a huge injection of cash straight from the Federal Reserve into the arm of
Goldman Sachs. Without it, the company most certainly would have failed. And
this sum of money is completely the opposite of the Social Security fund, which
is at a $2.7T surplus. Even though Goldman got back on its feet and paid back
its loan they continue to insist that government assistance in any form is a
horrible idea.
I’ve always been under the impression that Wall Street
titans are worse than drug addicts when it comes to the compulsive nature of
their denial. You listen to Mr. Blankfein make these statements and you wonder “does
this douchebag really not see what it’s like for the rest of us scraping by on
Social Security?” The answer is: no. No he doesn’t. The interview in question
is all the proof you need that these guys are completely obvious to the
hypocrisy of their own rhetoric. When it’s you who needs help, you’re a moocher
upon society. And when they ask for a hand-me-out, it’s because they’re “job
creators.” The only thing that will knock some sense into these idiots is to
arrest the ones who broke the law the worst. That would at least be a start.
Then the argument would change from “are they really that bad?” to “what do we
do with bad people like this?”
And so a tip of
the hat and a flip of the bird to Lloyd Blankfein, sure to go down in the
history books as one of the biggest douches of all time.
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